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The Priestesses had ways of meditation to help calm and restore, as well as the power of ragua or the ability to induce tranquility with a light touch. Some could create a sense of serenity just by being near, though that was a rare skill. As Naama’s Claret Tantra had been held several years previously she was fully aware of the secret instruction of the last month and also why it would create fear. Though after the years of other instruction and reassurance by theHigh Priestess that none of the boys encountered in the outer courtyard would be characteristic of the extremes of which they spoke, she felt the fear should not have overwhelmed the girl so. While the instruction was intended for passing through the ceremony, some of it was also intended as an introduction to possibilites that might be encountered later. Since the time when she’d undergone her own ceremony, Naama was also unclear as to why almost all the girls needed days in their rooms when they returned. She had decided. All I know is that loving them can wound me, so it’s better to run. I think I loved Carl. That’s why I drove him away. Better to be the hated ex, the girl who cheated with his best friend, than the girl he fell in and then out of love with. I didn’t want to give him a piece of my heart to take away with him when we separated. Changes happen. People go their separate ways. Should I allow my body and spirit to go their separate ways? The body goes into the oven of course, no burial for me. Why make my relatives pay for a two thousand dollar box for worm fodder? I’d want my ashes to be scattered somewhere nice though. A river. Some place where the air is sweet and you can’t see any buildings through the trees. I want someone to pour a bottle of wine into the water, too, a final send-off as the last earthly bits of me slip downriver to the ocean. Now, as to what happens to the spirit, that’s another question entirely. I’ve never been religious, but somehow I doubt that that means I’m.
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